Trick or Treat

Thursday, October 31, 2013
Trick or treat? Offer it to your readers and give them what they ask for in your comment section.

WTF does that mean?

So if someone asks for a trick in the comments, am I supposed to show up at their house with TP? Same for a treat – am I supposed to mail everyone candy? That’s not a bad idea, really – it would keep me from shoving it down my gullet.

Tell you what. If anyone is reading this and wants to play along, this is what you’ll get.

If you ask for a trick, I’ll give you a really terrible, super bad, face-palmingly corny joke.

If you ask for a treat, I’ll give you a picture of my kid.

Happy Halloween!


A devil, a jester and Cleopatra walk into a school…

Friday, October 4, 2013
Tell us about your favorite Halloween costume from childhood.

What do they have in common? All were Halloween costumes worn by moi.

It’s hard to pick a favorite. Looking back, I think it a little strange that the 4th grade me wanted to be Cleopatra (honestly, I just wanted to wear a black wig and I wasn’t old enough for a goth phase). My best friend and I were Comedy and Tragedy in 6th grade. That’s when I learned acrylic paint does not make a good substitute for face paint. Devil was my first Halloween costume. Foreshadowing?

The one that is my favorite, I think, is one I hated at the time. In the 2nd grade, I just wanted to be a witch. I wanted the black dress, the wig, the hat, the broom – the whole shebang. My mom was equally as insistent that I be a pumpkin. I railed, I fought, I complained, to no avail. Sullenly, I wore the costume she lovingly sewed for me (black felt eyes/mouth on a big orange shirt over leggings, with a felt pumpkin stem hat on my head) and prayed no oneĀ  made fun of me. No one did, of course. In fact, I probably got compliments on it.

Looking back, I’m really embarrassed at how I acted. I’ve never asked my mom about it, but I think she wanted me to wear a homemade costume because it was cheaper than buying all the witch stuff. We weren’t poor growing up, but we certainly weren’t rolling in money. Or maybe she just wanted me to wear something she made. Either way, I hate how I acted. Ungrateful, upset that I didn’t get what I wanted, unappreciative of the work she put in to make it.

I know I was only 7, and kids that age aren’t always the most empathetic of individuals. I’m also pretty sure my mom is no longer butt-hurt over it, if she ever was. Maybe writing about it will stop the slight cringe I feel whenever I think about my spoiled brat reaction to a perfectly good Halloween costume.

And if I ever make a costume for my son, I’ll make damn sure he appreciates it!

To dress up, or not to dress up

Thursday, October 3, 2013
Will you dress up for Halloween? What will you be?

Dressing up for Halloween was awesome when I was little. Who doesn’t love wearing crazy clothes and makeup at night? When I got older and did that stuff every night at the bar, it got kind of boring. I mean, Halloween costumes for adult women (or teens) are really just excuses to put boobs on display and attract sexual attention. I did that on my own, without the need of a holiday. I think the last time I dressed up as an adult was when I worked at a department store and just wanted to wear my prom dress again (I was a fairy princess). No, wait, I dressed up my first Halloween in England (last Halloween before I had a kiddo). I was a zombie pilot. No boobs in sight.

Now, though, I’m an adult with a kid. A kid who is just discovering the fun of Halloween. This will technically be his 4th Halloween, but only his third time dressing up (he was 6 weeks old the first go around, so we just popped him in a jack o’lantern sleeper and called it good). When he was 1, he was a panda and last year he was a velociraptor. This year, I’m leaning towards firefighter since he’s crazy about anything to do with rescues. Dressing him up in cute costumes is FUN.

We’ve kicked around the idea of family costumes. Colt is a huge Curious George fan, so husband could be The Man in the Yellow Hat for our little monkey. Or we could be the Griffins from Family Guy: Peter, Lois and Stewie. I’ve always thought the crayon idea was cute (Mom is yellow, Dad is blue, Baby is green). And the parents who went as Wild Things for their kid dressed as Max? Winning.

But honestly? I don’t think I’m that organized. Plus I’m lazy. I don’t really want to dress up to take him trick or treating. I want to wear comfy clothes – which for me in Texas means flip flops and maybe a hoodie (depends on if it dips below 70 that night…brrrr). My husband and I don’t do adult Halloween parties, so there’s really no need to dress up. I’m fine with leaving the dressing up to the kids.