Trick or Treat

Thursday, October 31, 2013
Trick or treat? Offer it to your readers and give them what they ask for in your comment section.

WTF does that mean?

So if someone asks for a trick in the comments, am I supposed to show up at their house with TP? Same for a treat – am I supposed to mail everyone candy? That’s not a bad idea, really – it would keep me from shoving it down my gullet.

Tell you what. If anyone is reading this and wants to play along, this is what you’ll get.

If you ask for a trick, I’ll give you a really terrible, super bad, face-palmingly corny joke.

If you ask for a treat, I’ll give you a picture of my kid.

Happy Halloween!


Toast hair sucks

Wednesday, October 30, 2013
In your experience in life, does bread always fall on the buttered side?

YES. And it is freaking annoying.

I get that it’s a physics thing. Or something like that – I didn’t do very well in high school Physics. Actually I think I dropped it. Probably one of the smartest things I did in high school…

Anyway, the buttered side is heavier than the non-buttered side due to the addition of butter. So if the bread has enough time during its fall, the heavier side will end up facing the ground and you will end up with random hairs in your toast, you klutzy fool.

Moral of the story: if you’re going to drop your toast, try to only drop it from a small height so the stupid buttered side doesn’t have time to orient itself.

Confucius would be a terrible bodybuilder

Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Confucius said, “To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.” Do you agree?

It depends on the situation. If it’s something like donating blood or eating Reese’s peanut butter cups, you want to strike the right balance. Going too far or falling short in both of those situations would be terrible.

But sometimes it’s not so bad to go beyond! Like donating food to people who don’t have any. But then you have to decide where the line is of “just enough” and “too much.” That gets tricky, because the line will be different for everyone. Andy Asshole might think it’s just fine to only donate old cans of tomato paste and carrots to a food bank, while Superstar Sally would be horrified at giving less than a month’s worth of groceries.

With some things, you have to go beyond to see any result – like weightlifting. You have to push your muscles beyond their comfort zone to gain strength and definition. Granted, you don’t want to go too far beyond or you’ll be sidelined, but if you continue to do the same thing over and over, you’ll always fall short of your goals.

This is what I’ve learned from this little exercise:

Confucius thinks it’s just as bad to go beyond as it is to fall short.
If you don’t go beyond when you lift weights, you’ll always fall short.

Conclusion: Confucius would make a terrible bodybuilder.



When I met him, it all fell into place

Monday, October 28, 2013
Tell us about a time everything fell into place perfectly

Probably when I met my husband. Looking back, I know that meeting him was the first step to me living a healthy life.

Now, I can’t say it was perfect, because I made A LOT of mistakes along the way. We’ve been together for almost 12 years, married for just over 6 years. We’ve seen a lot of pain in that time, but we’ve also seen a lot of growth (especially me).

Had I not met him, I think I’d be in a very different place. A not-so-good place. I don’t know if I’d be sober, and if I was a mother I don’t think I’d be as good a mother as I am with him by my side. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in him.

Lazy Sunday

It’s been a beautiful, lazy Sunday today. Both of my boys took naps (the kiddo is still sleeping) and I finally got my beads organized. <—- Sounds like a weird thing to describe as beautiful, but I do love organization and all the loose beads were making me twitchy. Plus, putting my hands on every. single. bead. I own helped me get inspired. Hopefully that inspiration translates into jewelry made!

I love haiku. I remember when we learned it in the 4th grade. I had a blast writing silly little poems. It’s a close tie between haiku and limerick as my favorite form of poetry, but haiku probably wins because it requires less work, word-wise.

My ode to the Lazy Sunday:

Football, naps and clouds
Staying in my PJs all day
Lazy Sunday for the win

And because any mention of Lazy Sunday NEEDS to include The Lonely Island…

Just me, now

I made a big change this week. I quit blogging…

…for a different site.

I used to share my stories of recovery and addiction at another site. It was started by another blogger I kind of know, and she asked me to be a part of it. Of course I was thrilled! So for several months I’ve contributed posts and really enjoyed it.

The past several weeks, though, I’ve kind of been feeling like I needed to pull back. She’s taking the site and running with it, creating some great new ideas for in-real-life stuff. She asked me to be a part of that stuff and I immediately said yes – though I probably should have thought it over more carefully. I’m really, really good at taking on too much stuff.

So anyway, I’ve been ignoring these misgivings and just going full steam ahead. That ended up not working out for me, because I kind of exploded last week. I got into a massive argument with the woman who runs the other site and impulsively quit it all. Usually, that kind of move is a bad thing, but…

It feels good.

I wish I hadn’t ended it like I did, but I feel relieved that this is the only site I “have” to contribute to. And really, I don’t have to write here if I don’t want to. So no pressure at all!

Moral of the story: Sometimes, being impulsive pays off, even if you look batshit crazy in the moment.

P.S. Click here if you want to see any of the posts I contributed over there.